I have a problem.
An actual verbatim list (in order) of things Charlynn said in her sleep last night:
- “Share!” Me: Share what? ”Your halloween candy.”
- “Bring me a unicorn.” Me: What do you need a unicorn for? ”For racing the frogs. Only the frogs in suspenders though. I don’t trust frogs with no pants.”
- “Bring me my masseuse! Why is my masseuse so tiny? I don’t want a midget touching me.”
- “Can nobody play the banjo?”
- “We should talk about the royal gravy. It’s too thick.”
- “Let’s go on vacation. To the moon. I’d like you to invite Sasquatch and Justin Bieber and That’s So Raven and Nicolas Cage. So we have someone to feel bad for. Are the rocks on the moon hard or soft? I just want to throw a bunch of rocks at Nicolas Cage. They won’t hurt that bad because of the gravity. I bet he doesn’t like cereal.”
- “Do they make really tiny squids? I want really tiny squids for earrings. You have to get them face masks, with water in them, so they can breathe. Wait, get baby octopuses. De-beak them. Can octopuses grow feathers? They’d be scary if they flied.” Me: Flew? “That too. They’d fly up in the air and then come down and suck on your head.”
- “I don’t want anything sucking on my head. Not even a vacuum. Not that I’m racist.”
- “I’m going to sleep. Bring me some cottage cheese in the morning. Minus the cheese. Bring me a cottage.” (at which point she actually stopped talking)
